


Christmas must be something more

by ThisIsOnYouPrincess



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Christmas without Finn, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 07:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2842361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsOnYouPrincess/pseuds/ThisIsOnYouPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a year since Finn's death, and the group are coming to terms with it - at a snail's pace.<br/>Clarke thought Christmas would be a sad affair, like last year.<br/>That was before she knew about Jasper's matching sweaters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas must be something more

“Bellamy! You don’t have your matching Christmas sweater on!”  
“That’s because it’s ugly as hell, Jas.” Apparently, Bellamy and Jasper are over. Octavia will be here (a third of this apartment is hers, after all). Which means Jasper’s boyfriend, Monty and Octavia’s boyfriend Lincoln are probably there too. Clarke sighs. She misses Finn. He’d died around this time last year and the group hadn’t had time to bounce back yet; but they were _trying_. They were trying hard. Matching Christmas sweaters was Jasper’s method, apparently. As soon as Bellamy saw her step over the threshold, he stage-whispers: “ _Run_.” His eyes sparkling with mirth and the teensiest bit of irritation. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes.  
“That’s the fun of it!” Jasper follows Bellamy’s eyes. “Oh, Clarke! I got you one too!” Jasper thrusts a mess of green and red knitted fabric towards Clarke and she accepts it awkwardly.  
“Um.. what’s this?” Clarke asks, bemused.  
“Matching Christmas Sweaters!” Bellamy shouts with false enthusiasm. “We all have one! Isn’t it great?!?” Clarke laughs a little, but she appreciates Jasper’s sentiment.  
“Thanks, Jas.” She manages a weak smile, Bellamy chuckles lowly. The sweater is red, brandishing a large Christmas tree across the front, the cuffs are white faux-fur (so, itchy), as is the collar. Bellamy raises an eyebrow and grins, so she turns to Octavia, who is wearing hers - a little shamefully, but wearing it nonetheless.  
The truth is, she likes the sweaters (not the actual sweaters, or the idea of matching) but the idea behind it puts a lump in Clarke’s throat. She can understand what Jasper is doing, and why he’s doing it.  
Clarke’s mother is working today, and her father is dead, as are the rest of their parents. Bellamy and Octavia’s father left when O was a baby, and their mother died when she was 13. Jasper’s parents died when he was young. Raven’s father was never around, nor was her mother unless she needed something. Finn’s parents died, too, but Raven still remembered them and their kindness. Monty and Lincoln were the only two in the group with both parents present, but Lincoln was no longer in contact with his. Monty - ever the exception - no longer lived with his parents, but still visited occasionally. They lived across the country.  
Nobody had a full family. So they made one.  
Bellamy and Clarke are - not consensually - the parents. Bellamy, being the oldest, naturally took the fathering role, and Clarke, being the most maternal, took the mothering role. Finn had a brief spell as step-father, but that didn’t work well for anyone, despite his and Clarke’s best intentions.  
Then Finn died.  
And the rest of the group were pulled more closely together by an invisible force. They were close before, but now they are more tightly knitted than the sweaters they adorn (and that’s difficult, Jasper picked some tightly woven, itchy sweaters).  
“Picture time!!!” Jasper runs out, brandishing a camera and the group groan.  
“No. I’m not doing it.” Bellamy protests as Clarke attempts to bundle him into his sweater. “It’s not happening, princess.” Clarke smiles at the nickname. Finn had given it to her when they first met, and Bellamy - seeing that she didn’t like it - had called her it ever since, he’d claimed it was to annoy her, but then it started sounding more like a term of endearment. Except when Finn passed, Bellamy stopped as if he wasn’t sure he still had permission. Maybe he didn’t. But it felt good to hear him say it again, even if it was a slip of the tongue. It meant that maybe things were getting back to normal - maybe things _could_ get back to normal, or at least somewhere close to it.  
“Bellamy Blake, you get into that sweater right now or I swear to God I will dress you myself.” Bellamy smirks.  
“Would that include undressing?” Clarke slaps his arm with his own jumper - it’s halfhearted, and she smiles.  
“Stop changing the subject.”  
“Why are you so determined for this, Clarke? You know these pictures will go everywhere.” Jasper was the resident king of social media, which meant that every embarrassing picture was on Facebook - who even uses that anymore? - Twitter, Instagram or his Snapchat story.  
Every single one.  
“Look at them, Bell.” Clarke says softly. “They’re happy. I haven’t seen them like this for ages.” Raven was laughing - only slightly, she took Finn’s death the hardest, along with Clarke herself - at something Monty had said, Jasper was trying to shove a smiling Lincoln (he never smiled, except for Octavia) and Octavia together, Monty was smiling at nothing (a common occurrence) and Jasper was laughing at Monty (again, this was common). Bellamy watches Clarke watch the kids, a smile lighting up her own face, and he can’t help but smile goofily. “Okay, fine. You win. I’ll wear the damn sweater.”  
“You will?” Clarke’s eyes light up. “I knew it’d work.” She says as she finally gets the jumper over his shoulders. “Thanks, Bell,”  
“Clarke! you did it! You tamed the big bad wolf!” Octavia laughs as she watches her brother lumber over with a big red sweater on.  
“Right, positions everyone!” Jasper calls as he sits the camera on the table, setting the timer. He has set up the whole thing so that Bellamy and Clarke are in the middle, Octavia to Bellamy’s left and Raven to Clarke’s right. Lincoln stands behind Octavia and he and Monty crouch in front.  
The flash went off and Jasper sprung up to view the picture. He smiled at the picture, and everyone else swarmed him too look, too.  
It wasn’t perfect. There’s a space beside Raven, where Finn once stood, and their dynamics are a little off, but they’re there.  
Bellamy is glancing sideways at Clarke, Monty is looking at Jasper. Raven stands a little too far away from Clarke and Bellamy’s arm is slithered between Octavia and Lincoln (who is staring at Octavia as though she hung the moon and stars).  
They’re not all looking the same way, and you can see the pain through their happy masks; they’re all a little broken.  
But they’re a family, as real as if their ties were blood-linked.  
“Can we do it again?” Monty - ever the perfectionist - asks, “I’m not looking the right way.”  
“No,” Clarke smiles. “It’s perfect. Jas, can you get that printed off for me please.”  
“‘Course, Clarkey.” He grins and she winces at the nickname.  
“Thanks, Jas.” She calls as she walks into the kitchen to resume whatever Octavia most likely started and got bored of.  
“Um, Clarke?” Raven’s voice is tentative from the other room, and Clarke appears in the doorway eagerly. Her relationship with Raven had been a little off since the death of Finn, and she was waiting for a way to sort it out. “Look at this.” She points at something at the top of the picture, above Clarke and Bellamy’s heads. Her eyebrow is raised a little, but Clarke is pleased to see that it’s more playful than anything.  
Mistletoe.  
“Jasper…” Clarke starts, but Jasper shakes his head.  
“That wasn’t me. I wish it was - but it wasn’t.” Clarke sighs.  
“It was me.” Octavia laughs. “C’mon, Bell. You’ve had a crush on Clarke forever.” Is Clarke imagining the pinkish tint to Bellamy’s cheeks? “And you, Clarke. I know you loved Finn.” Clarke winces, they all do. “But I know you love my brother, too. He’s exactly what you need right now.” She smiles at her softly. “We need our family, Clarke.” Octavia knew that’d get her, Clarke thinks bitterly, because Octavia has got her right where she wants her.  
“C’mon, Blake.” Clarke says a little more roughly than she meant to. “Let’s get this thing over with.” But her tone is light, joking. Bellamy looks surprised, but he pulls her in when they get to the mistletoe anyway.  
“You don’t have to go through with this.” He murmurs, his voice is low, quiet so nobody else can hear, she can feel the vibrations in his chest. “If you’re not ready it’s okay.”  
“I know.” Clarke smiles. “But we’re going through with it.” Bellamy frowns. “You don’t understand, do you? I want this, Bell. I want you.” Her cheeks colour. The others are watching. “Not like that. I mean, yeah, like that. But not just like tha-“ Then his lips are on hers and for the first time in a year, since she and Finn were attacked for a stupid mistake he made, and he lost his life instead of her losing hers, she feels safe.  
Safe, with Bellamy’s arms around her and his lips lightly on hers. He’s not her first love, but he’s her current one, and her love in the foreseeable future.  
It’s the kiss that makes her finally feel like she’s ready to move on.  
“I think I’m in love with you, Bellamy Blake.” She says, too quietly for anyone but him to hear, as the others clap and cheer and he keeps his arms wrapped around her.  
“That’s great, princess.” He murmurs and she freezes. He chuckles, a low timbre emanating from his throat. “You never let me finish, do you? I know I’m in love with you, Clarke Griffin.” He shakes his head a little, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips and then another to her forehead. She freezes. Finn used to kiss her forehead all the time. Bellamy sighs, but it’s not impatient or impertinent. Just a little sad, for her.  
“I’ve waited years, Clarke. I’ll wait however long you want.” He mutters, still too low for the others to hear. They finally break from each other’s arms to see five excited faces looking at them - six, if Clarke counts Bellamy.  
“Merry Christmas, everybody.” She says quietly as the clock tolls 12. It’s officially Christmas Day. “Boys, just stay here if you need to.”  
Now, with Bellamy pressed against her side, his face buried just a little in her hair, and the others laughing and smiling around her, the smell of cookies in the oven (courtesy of Octavia), with this ridiculous sweater on, it feels like Christmas for the first time since her father’s death three years earlier. 

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot to add a note on the end of here the first time I published it. So yeah.   
> Here it is. I hope you enjoyed it.   
> I thought I'd do a little Christmas drabble on Christmas Eve.   
> So Happy Christmas Eve everybody, I hope you all have a great day today and an even better day tomorrow!  
> Happy (Merry) Christmas Everyone! Have a fantastic day.   
> Love,   
> Natalya xxxx  
> (Comment and Kudos to spread the love!)


End file.
